Going in Deep

Maybe the biggest reason that I came to China – besides the pay check, traveling the world, eating Asian food (two months ago, I used to really love Chinese food) and learning a new language – was to escape the pressures and comforts of home; to discover which interests, character, and values would survive when I was cut off from everything and everyone familiar. Reader, be warned: the following paragraphs are deep and soul-searching.

First and foremost I can attest that Christ is sufficient even in – especially in – China. My relationship with the Redeemer is the only anchor which I still have which has carried with me overseas. Granted, I still call my parents every week and keep up with people back in Houston and in College Station through Facebook, but I cannot commune with my family and friends daily here; I can unceasingly with Christ. So it is Christ, the Rock, upon which I have built my life in China, and everything else follows.

I am growing stronger here. No, my bench and squat press have not risen in the past two months – probably the reverse because I have not been weight training regularly – but I am able to endure and have become more physically, mentally, and emotionally tough.

Don’t confuse tough with calloused. I have developed calluses on my hands and on my feet, but my emotions have not become hardened and unfeeling – quite the opposite actually. I feel joy, sorrow, gain and loss very deeply, but nothing shakes me up anymore because my foundation is still deeper. I have learned what it means to be completely content, no matter the circumstances. Whatever my lot, He has taught me to say: it is well, it is well with my soul.

I love going out and making new friends. I like to shop, eat, and explore Beijing with the people I have met here. I hate being drunk, but I do like to be loosened up by a few drinks and I always have fun hanging out late with guys and girls who can be all different shades of drunk and sober.

I have also learned what makes some friendships deeper than others. The best kind of merriment is the kind, as CS Lewis said, which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously – no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption. Even the dullest and most uninteresting person, or the wildest and craziest, could one day become a being whose cloths will shine like the sun and who will walk the golden streets of heaven, basking in the glory of our God. I want to see the people around me as Jesus did when he gave himself, not for what they are able to give to me.

I have an unfocused desire and a longing which I thought might wane in China, but to date has only grown stronger. This desire has a few peripheral focuses: I desire to find a girlfriend who will someday become a wife, my help and my best friend, with whom to share the joy of living; I desire to strengthen and enrich friendships which already exist, both at home and abroad; I desire to have a home to call my own next year, so that I can decorate and entertain guests; I desire to visit exotic places and to have outrageous experiences, which I am doing in China; but I have discovered that this desire is really just an appetite for life. I desire for more than fine, more than just ok – I want life at its fullest – and I hope this desire stays with me for the rest of my days!

Life is amazing.

Love,
Nathan